Dan Lirette & Richard Paladin welcome you to Moncton Forums!Register today on Moncton's most active forum!

Author Topic: Intellectual or clever jokes  (Read 1972 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline BristolUK

  • Regs
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 11801
  • Gently Insane
    • my world and welcome to it - a blog
Intellectual or clever jokes
« on: March 22, 2010, 07:07:50 PM »
There are 10 different types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't.
my world and welcome to it - a blog
http://monctonia-times.blogspot.com/

Offline BristolUK

  • Regs
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 11801
  • Gently Insane
    • my world and welcome to it - a blog
Re: Intellectual or clever jokes
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2010, 08:36:18 PM »
An intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger
my world and welcome to it - a blog
http://monctonia-times.blogspot.com/

Offline BristolUK

  • Regs
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 11801
  • Gently Insane
    • my world and welcome to it - a blog
Re: Intellectual or clever jokes
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2012, 03:12:18 PM »
The Dalai Lama went into a pizza shop and asked "Can you make me one with everything?"


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GogjFO8GNEo[/youtube]


Paladin's Star of Excellence
Great Post

I need to change my shorts..
« Last Edit: April 02, 2012, 03:19:50 PM by Paladin (Site Admin) »
my world and welcome to it - a blog
http://monctonia-times.blogspot.com/

Offline BristolUK

  • Regs
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 11801
  • Gently Insane
    • my world and welcome to it - a blog
Re: Intellectual or clever jokes
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2012, 04:39:57 PM »
It does not matter what the something is but

It's like a mixed metaphor in a china shop.
my world and welcome to it - a blog
http://monctonia-times.blogspot.com/

Offline BristolUK

  • Regs
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 11801
  • Gently Insane
    • my world and welcome to it - a blog
Re: Intellectual or clever jokes
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2012, 01:08:44 PM »





my world and welcome to it - a blog
http://monctonia-times.blogspot.com/

Offline willie c wuddle

  • Regs
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3112
Re: Intellectual or clever jokes
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2012, 02:02:57 PM »
It's good to see the Dalai Llama can laugh off a baaaad joke
 If yoo can brrrrew scottish whiskey in yourrr bagpipes, then yourr're a Plaidneck, laddie. - Jeff Scotsworthy     

Offline BristolUK

  • Regs
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 11801
  • Gently Insane
    • my world and welcome to it - a blog
Re: Intellectual or clever jokes
« Reply #6 on: August 04, 2012, 12:55:44 PM »
Man dining in an Indian restaurant reports "The waiter came up and asked, 'curry okay?', so I said 'all right, just one song, then clear off…'"
my world and welcome to it - a blog
http://monctonia-times.blogspot.com/

Offline BristolUK

  • Regs
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 11801
  • Gently Insane
    • my world and welcome to it - a blog
Re: Intellectual or clever jokes
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2012, 04:49:12 PM »
A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician went out hunting one day. The engineer saw a bear in the distance and so they all crept up on it. "I'll take the first shot!" he said and sending his shot 3 metres to the right. "You idiot, I'll show you how it's done" said the physicist who then missed by 3 metres to the left. "Yes! we got him!!" said the statistician.
my world and welcome to it - a blog
http://monctonia-times.blogspot.com/

Offline BristolUK

  • Regs
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 11801
  • Gently Insane
    • my world and welcome to it - a blog
Re: Intellectual or clever jokes
« Reply #8 on: December 21, 2012, 02:12:52 PM »
I lost my temper in Domino's pizza the other day and ended up pushing the bloke behind the till. He fell into another member of staff, who fell into another member of staff, who fell into another member of staff ...
my world and welcome to it - a blog
http://monctonia-times.blogspot.com/

Offline BristolUK

  • Regs
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 11801
  • Gently Insane
    • my world and welcome to it - a blog
Re: Intellectual or clever jokes
« Reply #9 on: July 05, 2013, 06:39:05 PM »
“Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?”

What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can’t see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: “Can you see me now?” The four men answer: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Si.” “Ja.”


How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.


A Roman walks into a bar,  holds up two fingers, and says:  “Five beers, please.”

A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
my world and welcome to it - a blog
http://monctonia-times.blogspot.com/