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Author Topic: I Useta know a lot of jokes  (Read 864 times)

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Useta

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I Useta know a lot of jokes
« on: July 05, 2011, 04:40:39 PM »
BEER BY SEVEN YEAR OLDS

 

A handful of 7 year old children were asked what they thought of beer. There were some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching.

'I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mum gets.'
--Tim, 7 years old

'Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice.'
--Melanie, 7 years old

'My Mum and Dad both like beer. My Mum gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think this is very funny.'
--Grady, 7 years old

''My Mum and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.'
--Toby, 7 years old

'My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much.
--Sarah, 7 years old

'My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.'
--Lily, 7 years old

'I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.'
--Ethan, 7 years old

'I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.'
--Shirley, 7 years old

AND THE BEST RESPONSE

'My Mum drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense.'
--Jack, 7 years

Offline Useta

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Re: I Useta know a lot of jokes
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2012, 09:20:47 PM »
Redneck couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out.

Husband says ' Oh for Pete's sake stop crying, you're still my sister'

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My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is.  I explained, when you die you come back as something else.

She said she wanted to come back as a pig.

I said, 'You're not listening'
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I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later.

I love the part where she takes her ring off and walks down the aisle backwards, gets in the car and drives off.

__________________________________________________

Edited by Paladin
« Last Edit: April 02, 2012, 10:06:25 PM by Paladin (Site Admin) »

Offline Useta

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Re: I Useta know a lot of jokes
« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2012, 11:45:29 AM »
Price of gas in France
 

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings---
 

"I had no Monet
 

To buy Degas
 

To make the Van Gogh."


See if you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else.
 

I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse